I realized my sister's bad attitude came from watching me.
While waiting for my mom and sister to pick me up from my youth group retreat, I thought about what the main speaker had said. He told us it's important to share Christ with the world, but it's also important to share Christ with people we're closest to. During his talk, he said, "Knowing the people we talk to about Christ can be both easier and harder than sharing with strangers. If we know the people, we've got an established 'in' with them. But if they respond negatively to what we say, it's not like we can go away and never see them again."
As I waited, I thought about my younger, 14-year-old sister, Rachael. Our family regularly attended church, but I was pretty certain she didn't have a relationship with Christ. She was a nice kid, but some of her actions didn't always reflect a Christ-like attitude. I felt sadness and a deep desire to talk to her—but not just because I was concerned about her relationship with Christ.
I also wanted to talk with my sister because I realized she learned some of her poor behaviors and attitudes from me.
I went upstairs to my room when we got home. I really wanted to make sure my heart was right before I talked to Rachael. So, I put on a worship CD and began praying, letting the calming words wash over me. I prayed, God, I want Rachael to know you, and I also want her to know I really do care about her.
As I prayed, I realized what I needed to say first: "Rachael, I'm sorry."
I'd been in my room for about 10 minutes before I called downstairs for Rachael. When she came into my room, we sat on my bed and I began to talk. Shortly into the conversation, I kind of blurted out, "Rachael, I know I haven't always been the best big sister to you. I'm so sorry. … "
Rachael suddenly looked confused, like she was thinking, What's Alyssa up to? She's never this nice or honest.
I swallowed hard and continued: "Rachael, I think some of my poor behaviors and attitudes sometimes cause you to act in ways that aren't all that great."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, I have this tendency to roll my eyes when I don't agree with mom and dad—and I see you sometimes do the same thing. Also, I haven't always dressed very modestly. I spend too much time griping about school and homework. And I haven't always lived out my faith very well. I'm not the best model for you sometimes. And I apologize." After an awkward silence, Rachael said, "Alyssa, I know we don't always get along, but I've always looked up to you. Because of that, I've done stuff that would help me be cool—like you." We talked for a while about how we often unknowingly influence others by the way we live. It seemed like it was the first time we'd had a real conversation. While we talked, I silently prayed: God, help me talk to Rachael about you. Eventually, I said, "Rachael, my faith in God really is important to me, and I just want to make sure you have a relationship with Christ."
Rachel remained quiet. I continued: "I just want to make sure you know Jesus."
[Today's Memory Verse]
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. "(Psalms 32:8)
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